Must read article.

In this week's Mishpacha magazine there is an article entitled "Who is Responsible for Those Sins" It is an excellent article. It brought me to tears (although admittedly, not THAT hard a thing for writing or movies to do).

I'll give you a chance to read it over shabbos before a comment further- make sure to make this article a priority.

Gut shabbos.

I don't believe it- customer service!

I just had the strangest phone conversation! I can't believe what I heard. An Israeli, an employee of a government organization no less, just told me "you are the customer, you are right". It was longer than that, it was a misrad habriyut thing. I called because I got a notice from "tipat chalav" saying that I owe 170 shekel and claiming that I had received many notices about this and that now I have ten days to pay. (or else?) So I called to find out when they think I received all these other notices. It turns out that the local office in in charge of dispensing them and usually they give them by hand instead of mailing them. I guess they never gave them to me! I told the guy who I spoke to on the phone that I find that very unprofessional. (a word that I didn't know in Hebrew- he told me professional is "miktzoee" which now that I think about it I knew- I know that miktzoah is a profession). He told me I am 100% right. (my first surprise) I then told him that actually, I find that the way that tipat chalav office is run, on the whole, to be unprofessional. That is when he said the customer stuff, and told me that they want to know if there is a problem. Anyway, the conversation ended with him saying, in English, "Have a good day Ma'am" I am really shocked. As much as I wish Israel would learn about customer service I never expected to get it.....
That's a nice start to my day.

Sheitel vs.tichel

Maidel, in response to my last entry, wrote

But I take issue with her statement that she has never seen a woman slip a tichel off her head. Perhaps in Israel she has never seen it, but look in every frum neighborhood in Brooklyn and Queens and you will see FFB women (some even with yichus) who are struggling with their yiddishkeit and their tichels are halfway back on their head, and it doesn't take much more for it to come off completely. It's in Kew Gardens, Flushing, Boro Park, Flatbush, and yes, even in Crown Heights.

I don't really understand how someone can "take issue" with what I stated has been my own personal experience. Maybe Maidel would like a little elaboration on my part- here it is- ( and in my next blog entry I will b'n try to not even mention sheitels- I hope)

The tshuva that I was commenting on said

As to your inquiry about the difference between covering one's hair with a sheitel and covering one's hair with a kerchief:

The difference is extremely simple. When the hair is covered with a kerchief and one meets a non-religious friend or acquaintance, then quite often the kerchief "slides up" or disappears altogether into the pocket.

This, of course, cannot be done with a sheitel. Ultimately, keeping the hair constantly covered becomes second nature.

There are a few statements and assertions that, based on my personal experience, I just do not see happening. That is to say, I see no proof provided by the Rebbe here of the inherent advantage of sheitelach over tichlach. The issue is referred to as "extremely simple"- if this were indeed the case there would not be such a broad range of halachicly based opinions on this topic- (not even counting the India/ avodah zara issue!). In my personal experience people that b'shita wear tichlach and davka not a sheitel are scrupulous to cover their hair. I am not saying that there are not women that b'davka wear sheitels who are not equally as scrupulous. There are *many*. There are many women who wear sheitels for tznius- they feel that it covers all their hair more efficiently and they are makpid that the sheitel conforms to the spirit of tznius as well. But this letter make it sounds like tichel wearers are flaky in their yiras shamayim and will toss off their tichel at the drop of a hat;) I have just never seen that. Women who b'shita wear tichels, for tznius reasons just don't do that. I am not referring to women who wear sheitels, falls, etc and on a shlumpy day throw on a snood or a bandana. These are the women whose hair shows in a cloth covering and also shows in a sheitel, indeed their sheitels are designed to integrate their own hair so that it looks more natural.
The women who Maidel refers to, whose headcovering slips off, eventually to slip off completely will just as soon take off a wig as they will another covering. And they definitely do not *b'shita* (for tznius reasons) not wear sheitels. I do not judge any of the aforementioned women. Each person has their own nisayon. Uncovering my hair in public was never mine, and I do not know how would act were I in their shoes. I just wish that there could be shalom and not always one group putting the other down. There are valid reasons for wearing a sheitel and they don't have to involve putting down women who don't wear them (and vice versa). I find it strange that this is *the* difference that *anyone* would see between wearing a sheitel and wearing a tichel- essentially that anyone who wears a tichel does not have a minimum amount of yiras shamayim. Again, I say "HUH?!"

Kol Tuv

HUH?

After reading this Lubavitcher Rebbe's view on why a sheitel is different than a tichel I am just left going "huh?". REALLY? I have NEVER in my life seen a woman in a tichel take it off in public and put it in her pocket! The women that I know who wear tichels are highly tznius women... I think that comment is so odd, and dare I say ignorant. Maybe in that time it was true that sheitel wearers were more committed, but today that is certainly not the case. The two times I saw married women uncover their hair in public (both were in a car) they were wearing sheitels, not tichels. One was as a child, she was a friend's mother on the way off the derech. The second was a "frum" sheitel macher who was giving me a ride, at night, out of Brooklyn. She then walked from the car to the house with her hair uncovered. So in my experience the level of commitment of those that wear sheitel and those that wear tichels is exactly the opposite of the view stated by Chabad. :shrug:

Well, I got that off my chest.

We had a nice trip to Jerusalem for a few days. My kids rode an escalator for the first time in their memory. They enjoyed it. They were so cute, asking questions about how it worked. They also enjoyed the fountain, the glass elevator and the little rides at the mall. There is so much gashmeeyus out there! Yeah, I know what else do I expect to find in a mall? LOL! It was HOT outside, the mall has AC. It was nice to visit friends but I am glad to be home.

Speaking of my friends, one of them is discovering that American olim cannot really be charedi. A fact that I tried to convince my friends (who thought they were charedi whereas I always say that I cannot be charedi) of for years. "Charedi" is a label people use that describes a social construct. It means many things that have nothing to do with torah. My friend discovered that it means that her sheitel will go exactly to the point on her neck that her daughter's future principal said it will, that her skirts will be exactly 15cm below her knee and above her ankle. She discovered awhile ago that being American makes her "2nd pick" for things like chardei schools. This probably holds true for chardei shidduchim as well. One of the major attributes of charedi parents is the "busha"- embarrassment. They are forever embarrassed by their children- unless their children are perfect chareidim, of course. If their son works, goes to the army, etc. etc. I can't imagine myself having that busha. There is obviously hashgacha pratis in my life, my kids were given to me and I to them because Hashem has a plan, They are not little extentions of me. Hashem created them with their own tachlis and tikkun...

I could go on for awhile, but my son will be home soon and I'm still in Pjs so I will have to continue later.